I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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