Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
