Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
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Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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