i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize