And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
