Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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