hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
