Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize