Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
