Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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