Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
