I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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