somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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