we're blogging at a bar
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
