Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
