so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
