God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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