I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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