Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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