Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
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