I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
