I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You ruined the universe
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
