You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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