You made me cry and you don't even care
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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