you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
