dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
