Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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