We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize