were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
