No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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