She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
