Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
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He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
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Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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