One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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