I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
