I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize