You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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