I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
