Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
