Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
