No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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