Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
