it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
