I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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