no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
