Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Actions speak louder than pants.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
