He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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