we're blogging at a bar
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Randomize
