How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
