did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
