Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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