it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
please come you make the beer taste better
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
