saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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