Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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