I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
