NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize