dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
as a side note pls kill me
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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