U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
