Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
