You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
