why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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