You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
