I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
