and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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