Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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