And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
